i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
