I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
