What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
