The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
