Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
This house was built for laser tag.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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