Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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