If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The power of my boobs compel you
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
