I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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