I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I did not marry a roomba.
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