like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
