i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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