you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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