The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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