I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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