Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
