i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
