I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I need moral support for this bender
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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