Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
