Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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