Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
