I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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