he wants to bone in the snuggie
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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