yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
