So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
