Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
