he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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