Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
