She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just high enough for therapy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
