just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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