I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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