I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
