I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
