You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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