she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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