she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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