he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he's single and there are thong briefs.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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