There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
