I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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