So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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