So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Randomize
