I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
tell me about the eggs
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
