I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
