Pappa wants mamma naked
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
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Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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