i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
