I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
