Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
