Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i would punch a child for taco bell
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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