I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
