Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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