escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
