Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
