I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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