New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
