The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
