first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
