We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
