she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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