do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
